Shayla in nowhere land

Maybe lung cancer is my way of punishing myself. Maybe that’s my self-harm. Maybe you guys are the reason I feel like I need to punish myself. Maybe society is the reason I am the way I am. Maybe I am a monster in disguise and you don’t see under my skin. Maybe I’m just like everyone else.

I have a vice. I’m human. I try to stay out of trouble but it finds me everywhere I hide. I make mistakes and sometimes I feel like open mouth insert foot. I’m not a good person. I’m not a nice little girl like you think I am. I get scared. I feel pain. I still feel less than human when I’m around others. I don’t blame anyone but me.